Indecent Proposal

It's been a VERY strange day. Actually, a strange week. It must be going around. Yesterday, I found out I may lose my job because of a "cash flow" situation (ie. boss has been hiding old bills). When I asked him if I needed to look for a new job, he wanted to know if he could give me an answer next week. Next week! Uh...I said, "I think you just gave me my answer." So I went for a job interview today. Ironically, it's the same job I passed up three months ago when I committed to my current employer. No worries...time brings change and I anticipated this one.

What I didn't anticipate was receiving e-mails from an ex-boyfriend earlier this week. You remember...the one who dumped me and went back to his ex-fiance, who then became pregnant practically the first time they were in a room together (referenced in my "Men in Trees" post http://freewillinmontana.blogspot.com/2007/10/men-in-trees.html). Well, after a few e-mails back and forth, I figured out what he wanted. He wanted to come speak to me (intellectually, of course) about the downside of monogamy. Apparently, he and is wife believe in "progressive relationships", and he wanted my opinion "with no strings attached". Anger welled up inside me when he confirmed what he wanted from me...and I promptly let him have it via e-mail. How dare he try to pull me into their relationship again. The first time, I had been assured their engagement was off. Everyone had moved on. Only they lied to themselves and they lied to me. They had not completely moved on...and she came back as soon as she knew he was dating someone else. Near the end, it seemed like he wanted me to talk him out of going back to her. Instead, I let him know that he would choose his own path, and if he sought out pain, it would come to him. He simply couldn't resist it. He wanted to feed his pain-body. In any case, this sucking on my energy... their assumption that they can bring other people's energies in to "fix" whatever is wrong in their marriage enraged me!

I went to the roof to cool off. I wanted to be in a place where I felt protected and safe from these vampires. I knew if my friend were alive, I could go to his condo and he would tell me their proposal was outrageous. That I deserved much more than an "indecent proposal". This anger, and all the past feelings of hurt and resentment were whirling inside me all day. But on the roof, a BEAUTIFUL rainbow began to form. (I took photos with my cell phone so they don't do it justice.) First one side appeared, then the other, and also a second rainbow. It became the DEEPEST, most INTENSE double rainbow I have seen in my life, set against the back-drop of the Swan Mountains, and in the exact spot where I last saw my friend alive (on the roof). In fact, it felt like he was just sending a bit of inspiration to remind me of all things beautiful - to remind me that although people do awful things, and they act with ignorance, I set my own boundaries and can create the most awesome heaven on earth I want to create. I thank my angel friend for reminding me of that!