How to "Flip that Switch"

I’m past my 3rd chemo treatment and almost to the half-way point of the whole protocol. Yeah! My friends and I had a head-shaving party, in which a total of six people shaved their heads. What support! A couple weeks ago I went into my doctor’s office and told him I was “really pissed off” at the way some people looked at and/or treated me. I told him, “I don’t want people looking at me like I’m going to die!” And, it’s become clear that I have lost some income from at least one client because of their PERCEPTION of what cancer and what its treatment involves. I want to shake them all and say, I’M STILL HERE!

My doctor said this was a healthy response, so I’m going with it.

However, at the same time, my chemo buddy admitted to me the other day that she doesn’t know how to stop thinking of her mortality…how to start thinking that she will be a survivor, even though the statistics are in her favor. She’s having a hard time flipping that switch in her brain, and it was hard for me to come up with the words to help her. Statistics are statistics, but she has a family to think about. What can one say to ease this uncertainty? We’re all going to die? Ouch. You’ll be a better mother? Ouch. I remember one nurse saying to me “This is a gift you’ve been given. Cancer is a GIFT”. I took it ok, but someone has to be in the right frame of mind to look at it that way.

So I guess what I’ve learned is you can’t judge someone until you’ve walked in their shoes, and if you don’t know what to say, just say that. Don’t make assumptions about how someone is feeling.

Since my last posting, I’ve won a free night stay at a local historical hotel by guessing what the DOW would end at in 2008, and I’ve also won at the slot machines with friends this last weekend. I may be going through chemo, but I still think I’m a lucky charm :)

Maybe I’m warped.